Sigh

Last night was fine. Until I took an imovaine. Then I binged on cereal and sanwiches. I guess it destroys the function of my brain that says "DO NOT DO THAT". Thanks. Crap. I feel disgusting and embarrased this morning because my husband noticed. He never comments, never judges and is only concerned, but it is still humiliating as hell. FUCK. What should I do for the rest of the day? I am full, horribly full of crappy junk. I do not want to go to the store because I will have one of those WTF moments of "LET'S EAT" and I do not want to detox from more junk food. I think that I am going to have to weigh myself every day from now on. Yuck.
Here is the plan for today:
Clean the house
Wash moldy sill (don't ask)
Do laundry
Tidy the deck
Clean the van
Lift weights
Drink water
Focus on now
Afternoon snack:
red pepper
carrots
banana

Dinner:
beans
salad

After Dinner Snack:
apple
almonds

I feel worried that this is definitive proof that I need to go back to OA. OA is a good program, I am not "cured" by any means of my disease, it's just the floating around, waiting, hoping and praying part that fills me with such depression and hopelessness. I want to DO something.