Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Just Weighed Myself

I gained .2 pounds. I was feeling my clothes getting loser, so I weighed myself. Now I am scared that I am eating too much. What to think?

I feel so scared of binging tomorrow. I will be at home, depressed, and trying to clean the apartment. I feel sad and scared.

I need a plan.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Still Angry

I still feel angry at hubby. I bought gum today, knowing that he would throw a tantrum about it. God, I bought him a beautiful gift of singing lessons, but he exhanged that for musical instruments for the baby. Thanks, that was just my gift to you, but don't worry. It doesn't feel like spit on my face to find out that BIG SELFLESS BENNI GAVE AWAY MY PRESENT TO HIM.

FUCK.

He is such a baby sometimes. He grouched out the door today and slammed it because I was talking to my sister instead of babying him out the door.
His controlling, grim, angry attitude towards money makes me want to bash him in the head. I GOT IT.
I wish we could talk about money without Ben becoming paternal, tense, controlling and a big fucking dickhead.
I hate myself for not knowing about money so that I can't talk to him about it.