I have been struggling horribly lately. I have had insomnia - bad. My aunt died on Tuesday night. I was not close to her. I hadn't seen her in years. I am not sure how to feel about this. I guess I feel sad. I miss her. I talked to my cousins and in an instant I was transported back to being a kid, being with my cousins. They were my connection to my childhood. When my mom was thin, healthy and happy. When we were close, before spouses, children and alcoholism drove us all apart. I will see my cousins in the New Year. It's time for us to get together again.
Today I was hungry after my afternoon snack. I forgot to eat a carb with lunch. I was at a store in the "healthy" section. Soo many choices, sooo much syrup. I knew that if I ate something it would start up cravings. I took something anyway, then I put it back. That Inner Voice said "You will have cravings". I was relieved. I went home and had two slices of toast with vegan margarine and sugar-free peanut butter.
A good day.
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