I am down about 1.5 pounds. A miracle. If this keeps on working, I will be on WW for LIFE. I will be WW's bitch.
I woke up in a good mood, then my husband opened the VISA bill, he hasn't said anything, but I feel so guilty about spending money. I feel very sad and depressed today. I wish that I was a better person, a more mature, independent, good person.
I miss my mother so much, but she could never accept who I was. So many times she would stare at me with a look of disgust on her face, I'd say "What's wrong?" She'd said "Nothing". (keep trying for my approval) It was a manipulative game for her to give me the "You are not good enough" vibe. I eventually stopped trying.
She broke my heart. To this day the beatings she administered register as tension in my shoulders and back, I always expect to be attacked. I constantly give off the 'don't touch me' air. I cannot stand people being close to me. I carry the guilty, rage and frustration of our relationship with me everyday.
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