Weigh In?

Well, I lost 3.7 pounds. I am back at 159. This week I am determined to go down instead of yo-yoing. It's funny how I feel about WW. I had tried it before, but it drove me crazy. Every day I went into my flex points, would just gain and then give up. This time I don't feel that hungry. I also feel that I must monitor my weight. Always. I can never just carry on, it's too easy for me to lie to myself about how many calories I am eating and gain. I also have had alot fewer 'eateateateateateat eaaaaaaaaaay EVERYTHING" moments. Weird. I never, ever thought that this program would work for me. I have been stewing about MM. Once, after an argument, my mother said "Kiss my ass" to me. I was fourteen maybe. It was really painful to hear my mother talk to me like that. As though she didn't love me. As though she never loved me. I remember being as young as three and hearing her say "Do you want Mommy to go away and never come back?" God, that terrified me. So many times she was rude, crude, dismissive and disgusting to me. My father was quite a coward in all of this. If he wasn't insulting me, he was giggling away while my mom insulted me. To this day, I loathe people getting close to me. I loathe being close to others. I always think "What's the point? It only makes me nervous". That's what alcoholism, insults and a presumption by my parents that I would 'always' be there for them did to me.