Loving Life

I feel great! I have lifted, run, stretched and been good to my body in the past few days and I love it! I love lifting, I love exercising. I have to stay in and clean today. Yuck. Yesterday I went out though. That makes it easier to stay home and work. I feel as though I have become lazy since I began to stay at home. I waste too much time on my computer, I put off alot of things that I should do, I just don't have alot of oomph anymore. Is this because of the kid? Is this normal? Or am I descending into laziness and will never come out? I think that what happened to me in my teen with my drunk mom and absent father really, really affected me. It still affects me. I think that I need to deal with it through therapy. How? What do I need to do? The guilt over my family wracks me every day. I feel guilty constantly. I hear my mother's critical, horrible voice every day. Will this ever change?