Mad, Sad.

I am angry. I am angry that my father and my older sister do not accept me. I have good life. I live the way I want to, but it is not good enough. I feel angry about this. I've done the best I could considering the violence, alcholism and turmoil I grew up in. I have had panic attacks, binge eating disorder, and depression. I have had to live a very careful life in order to keep myself from falling into the abyss of fear, binging and depression. So, I have not traveled much. I have a quiet life because I like it that way. I feel criticized though. I feel that I am good enough. I feel that my life is the way I want it, yet they behave as though it is not. I feel angry. Their treatment is a large reason why I have had to struggle to do the most basic things. Try traveling with panic attacks. Try adventures when you are fifty pounds overweight, work in a low-paying job and are struggling with depression. It was all I could do to just stay alive, much less live the life they say I should. Sometimes I feel so angry.