Yeah baby. I survived visiting relatives and sleeping in unfamiliar beds. Me and Aron Ralston (127 hours guy) are on the same level. He cut off his own arm and I left my cocoon for 48 hours. Whoo!
Anyway, I did survive despite having a horrible beginning. On the morning that we were supposed to leave, I arose in an Imovaine haze and binged on cereal and sandwiches. That is the worst beginning I could imagine. Now I am leaving familiar territory, going the land of junk food and not able to exercise. When the drug fog cleared, I was able to right myself and eat healthily for the rest of the day. Still, I was petrified that I would binge all day, get depressed and lazy, and spend the entire time plotting to sneak sweets instead of being with my family.
I survived a potentially triggering event, my half-drunk FIL looked at me at dinner and said "Would you like a drink?" I said no. (Mother was alcoholic, alcohol is sugar in liquid form, also a depressant, do not need a drink.) He looked at my (skinny, gorgeous ) SIL and said "Doesn't she look like she NEEDS a drink?" AAAAAAGH! For a horrifically sensitive soul like me, that is MURDER. Still, instead of bursting into tears and announcing that I hated him, (grist for the gossip mill) I said "I need a lot of things, some of which I will get tonight". (Sly glance at husband.) They all said "Ooooh". (They love bawdy remarks.) Situation averted.
Anyway, we went to my older sister's house. Her beautiful, old house. Her beautiful, old, beautifully decorated house. Filled with thousands of dollars of toys, shoes, clothes, dishes, makeup, remodeling, Barbie houses (three), a giant train table, two giant televisions, a bouncy castle, a play house, etc. A wave of jealousy swept through me as I entered. I always feel jealous and a little angry whenever I go there. My BIL is a lawyer. He is a really nice guy and is a total family man. He is happy to provide for his family, but sometimes I feel pissed off. I went to school, I studied, I earned good grades, yet the most I will ever make is probably 23 dollars an hour. That's with a BA and a diploma. My husband works hard, and he definitely makes good money, but we will never have such a lavish lifestyle. It just isn't fair. I know, LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Just ask any woman who lives in Afghganistan if life is fair. She would look at my life and probably feel angry at what luxuries that I enjoy. Anyway, I worked through that and enjoyed my lovely family.
Still, every time I went to my room, I had to pass by a huge bag of chocolate chips. That I could have swiped and taken to my room. That I could have eaten a TON of in five minutes. I survived that .
I love half a pound over Christmas. A-MAZING. I am at my lowest weight since my second trimester of pregnancy. 162 pounds. My goal is 135 - 140. If I stay away from sugar and flour. I will make it.
I hope that my two followers have had a great Christmas as well!
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