Lost Two Pounds

I lost two of the pounds I gained. I feel much better. I ran on my treadmill yesterday and went for a bike ride as well. Exercise is my saviour. It feels great to work out.

I feel good about turning forty. I feel as though I can become who I want to be. I have been feeling less apologetic, more assertive, and less concerned with what my family thinks.

Confession - I want to be a bad-ass. I want to box, lift weights, get a tatoo, a piercing and tell people who don't like it to go fuck themselves. I don't want to become rude, selfish and smug. I was horribly smug and rude in my twenties. Ugh. I mean that I want to just become what I want and fuck anyone who does not like it.

It's even affected my sex life - in a positive way. I have gotten into the habit of focusing on getting my husband off. (No wonder it felt like a chore.) Oddly, he has never been selfish and demanding in that regard. He *wants*sex to be enjoyable for both of us, not just him. So, yesterday I was a little rough in bed. Assertive. It was great and my husband certainly had no complaints.

Here's to turning forty. So far, it's going to be fucking awesome.