I binged yesterday. I hate myself. Why? Actually I know why. I tried the "Spark People" diet. Too little protein. I felt hungry, annoyed, scared and sad. I hate food. I hate food. I hate food. I love exercising. I hate food.
I am so sad. I won't go back to OA. I wont. It's a good program, but I can't. I cannot handle the whole "Let Go And Let God" stuff. I just want to make plans, live and not fuss, freak out, and worry about my humility levels.
I feel scared today. As though I have done something bad. I feel guilty for talking about my family in therapy and for hating my sister. I am angry about my life. I hate myself for not learning how to drive. Will this ever work? Will I ever lose weight? I feel like such a loser.
I need to stop.
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