Thursday, August 18, 2011

What's Up With Me?

What is up with me? I have been fighting a minor urge to binge all day. I just ate two bowls of oatmeal, milk, protein powder and sugar-free chocolate mousse mix. Why?

I was mixing it and it popped into my head, "I am angry". I am angry at my father. I have been obsessing all day about how he did not accept my independence. I detached after I moved out, I spent less time with him and Mom. I probably hurt Mom's feelings. I probably hurt his feelings. I just couldn't take it anymore. I have just finished a fun afternoon watching two other children along with Richard. I then felt angry at my father. I have been a loving, warm, respectful caregiver and mother. I know I am.

Why couldn't he appreciate that? Why can't he see what a great person I am? Why is it so hard for him to see that I am loving, kind, respectful and fun? Why is he so distant? What have I done wrong?

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