Wednesday, August 3, 2011

What Should I Do?

Well, I did binge that afternoon. I ate, big time. I tried OA again, and I love the spirituality, the feeling of not being alone, but I can't stop everything and be humble. Am I in denial? Am I powerless? What should I do? I felt so empty and dead this afternoon that I had chocolate. I just need to exercise and eat healthily to feel alive. I feel sad and scared that I am only fooling myself about all this and that I am really never going to lose weight.

I bought some natural vitamins that have been proven to reduce sweet cravings. Not just "It says so on the bottle and the model in the ads swears by it", but several studies have recommended chromium to reduce sweet cravings.

I feel scared that I am spiraling into a huge gain. I must have gained seven pounds in the past week. I am going to weigh myself tomorrow. I am betting on 170. It will not be pretty, but I must face what I have done.

I know that I love to exercise and eat healthily, it's just some stuff that I need to work on.

Am I a compulsive eater in denial? Will I ever lose this weight?

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