I feel like crap. I got sucked into starving again. This always happens. I fool around with starvation and then binge. I feel like crying, but I think I have forgotten how. I feel so ashamed of myself for not knowing how to drive and for letting everyone down over the years. I feel disgusting and fat. Staying at home is murder. It sounds stupid, but I hate not having a job. I need places to go, people to see, important tasks, etc. I just laze around all day, I feel pointless and bored and uncertain of what I should do. If I stay in and clean, my depression kicks in and Richard does not socialize. If I go out my house is a disgusting mess. I feel so sad today. Just fat and sad and hopeless. I want to be more organized, more together, more everything, but it never works.
I feel terrible.
*hugs*
ReplyDeletethink of it this way. if you've hit rock bottom, things can only go up from here. you can do this!